I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
