I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
