Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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