She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
