This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
