so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
