jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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