hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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