Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
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my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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