ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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