just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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