Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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