All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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