Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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