Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
