So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
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I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
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The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I deserve this hangover.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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