he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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