It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
