College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
