Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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