Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
