my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
