It's Friday. Sex?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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