i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
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Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
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As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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