yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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