i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
