awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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