I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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