how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i now understand why vodka
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
