She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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