Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
