I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
