Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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