I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
