I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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