Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
ok first of all what the fuck
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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