I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize