you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
