anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard