he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?