I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
high people should be assigned attendants
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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