we're blogging at a bar
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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