Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize