I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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