I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
