I'll bet she douches with gravy.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
