I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
