Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
