so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
