Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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