But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
