She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
