I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
