we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
