how can u be prego again
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
