It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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