My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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