wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
