have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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