I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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