The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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